This was my response to a dear friend who reached out to check in, offer prayer & encouragement! It sums up my perspective...
I truly do have a peace that passes understanding. This diagnosis might be big, but our God is bigger! Our great God is good so I am too bc I can trust an unknown future to our known God!
I trust Gods got big plans to grow us all in/through this- in my knowledge of, love for, trust in, obedience to & relationship WITH Him!! As He already faithfully has been! I’m weirdly eagerly anticipating watching
Him unfold my story that He’s writing whatever that holds. First & foremost praying that His will be done & I want to be at the center of it! The only safe place to be in a storm is in the eye! I’m seeing how He’s prepared me to patiently faithfully endure even when it gets long & grueling through all the marathons & endurance/challenge races I’ve done (funny how He works!)
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom...Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”
Psalm 90:12, 14
We all know we’re not guaranteed tomorrow but this helps you really live like it!
So my surgeon called my oncologist to discuss these weird ongoing symptoms. Describing to him what I’ve been feeling, I said “I know it doesn’t fit any classic signs & symptoms, but something just isn’t right.” He said, “I think you said it well ‘Something isn’t right’ we’ve seen so many times where a diagnosis doesn’t follow traditional presentation so we want do some tests to figure out what’s going on. I’m ordering a chest CT angiogram to see what’s going on & rule out a pulmonary embolism.”
On the phone waiting to schedule that now.
“You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”
Psalm 139:2-7, 13-18
I truly do have a peace that passes understanding. This diagnosis might be big, but our God is bigger! Our great God is good so I am too bc I can trust an unknown future to our known God!
I trust Gods got big plans to grow us all in/through this- in my knowledge of, love for, trust in, obedience to & relationship WITH Him!! As He already faithfully has been! I’m weirdly eagerly anticipating watching
Him unfold my story that He’s writing whatever that holds. First & foremost praying that His will be done & I want to be at the center of it! The only safe place to be in a storm is in the eye! I’m seeing how He’s prepared me to patiently faithfully endure even when it gets long & grueling through all the marathons & endurance/challenge races I’ve done (funny how He works!)
“So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom...Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days.”
Psalm 90:12, 14
We all know we’re not guaranteed tomorrow but this helps you really live like it!
So my surgeon called my oncologist to discuss these weird ongoing symptoms. Describing to him what I’ve been feeling, I said “I know it doesn’t fit any classic signs & symptoms, but something just isn’t right.” He said, “I think you said it well ‘Something isn’t right’ we’ve seen so many times where a diagnosis doesn’t follow traditional presentation so we want do some tests to figure out what’s going on. I’m ordering a chest CT angiogram to see what’s going on & rule out a pulmonary embolism.”
On the phone waiting to schedule that now.
“You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand. I awake, and I am still with you.”
Psalm 139:2-7, 13-18
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