I wrote the first part of this last night and have gone back at different times today to work on it but have gotten pulled away and keep losing everything I did 🥺. I added quite a bit from last nights entry
Well it’s been an interesting couple weeks. I went to the radiation oncologist 2 days before I shared my story & all God has & is doing in & through it to teach more about the precious promises & timeless truths of His Word while drawing me & others closer to Him, recognizing our dependence on & desperate daily need for Him in/for everything! She went over the plan & preparation needed for radiation to begin. First off the implanted expanders had to finish being filling up to the desired size...actually over-filled as the radiation will “shrink-wrap” the skin & therefore decrease the size. Reminds me of Rinky Dinks, I think they were called, from my childhood. You’d color decorate these plastic shapes & then put them in the oven to shrink them. Now I essentially get to do that with a part of my body. Fun stuff! Actually it’s no fun & games. We’re rockin & rollin with real life & real body parts here!
After I got a second & final “fill” at the plastic surgeon the next day, I was thinking “I’m good to go. The worst is over. I got through 5 months of chemo & am 4 weeks out of pretty major surgery. My doc cleared me & gave me the ok to get back into normal life & activity. I’ve been a good patient and now my surgical incisions & “bullet holes”(from the drains) had healed enough that I can get in the water to surf, swim, splash around & my muscles were ready to get moving, stretched & strengthened again!” While I was at his office I asked him what this weird cord-like thing was stretching tightly from my arm to my ribs in the armpit when I lifted up my arm. “Oh it’s just a clogged up vessel. It can happen after they mess around in there & take out lymph nodes. Here lift up your arm (I do & he looks at it). I can just pop it right now, ok? You’ll hear a pop & it’ll hurt a little but then you’ll be fine.” So that’s what he did & what happened. So weird! And I asked him why it was so uncomfortable during & after he injected the saline (thankfully I didn’t feel the needle he poked through my numb skin, as the nerves had been cut during surgery, except when I went through the muscle & caused it to spasm) in the expanders. His response was clear & simple “of course it hurts, I anchored those (hard plastic) puppies right into your ribs/rib muscles (since they scooped everything else out!)so they don’t move around in there & its still healing” Yikes!
The next morning I was scheduled to get up in front of a group of young moms in our Navigating Motherhood ministry at church and share about this journey He’s walked with me on the past 6+ months. Truly I was so excited to have to opportunity to point them to the all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving
Great Physician that is able to not only heal any & every physical ailment this side of heaven, but has the cure for our sinful souls to heal us for all eternity! I couldn’t wait to testify to His goodness, His faithfulness, His steadfast love and trustworthiness I’d experienced firsthand even when times were hard. I wanted a good night sleep to be rested & ready to wake up early to have quality time with my sweet Savior, to be filled with His Spirit and His Word to overflow my heart & head, and direct my mind and mouth that my message would be His. There is so much I could share about all He’s taught and shown me through all this but I wanted to share what He had for me to share to these women at this time as only He knew what they needed to hear and how they needed to be encouraged by His love, grace and truth! Well His plans were not my plans and His ways not mine (higher & better as always as Isaiah reminds us in
55:8-9!). That night I could not get comfortable and could not sleep...giving more opportunity to pray for my aim and my audience, to recognize my dependence on Him and lean on His strength in my weakness. A good place to be! Between pain meds & prayer (mine & others interceding on my behalf), God got me through comfortable and carried along by the Holy Spirit! PTL! It was so fun to “brag on” my Heavenly Father and put His character on display!
I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Tony Evans on prayer and God’s call for us to “pray continually”(1 Thessalonians 5:17) and to “continue steadfastly in prayer” (Colossians 4:2). How can we pray nonstop?! As I encouraged the high school girls in my small group, we can do this by taking our conversations and making them conversations with God. As Christians, He dwells within us and is with us always. We are
never alone! And He already knows our every thought so by turning them into prayer, we’re just acknowledging His presence and opening ourselves up the guidance, comfort and encouragement His presence provides! Sometimes those prayers are pleas for help...for physical, mental, emotional, spiritual peace & comfort, for guidance & direction in life, decisions, relationships, etc. and other times they are expressions of praise and thanksgiving. So there is always something to talk to Him about since we are always thinking and always have a prayer request to take to Him or praise to give Him! And often (I’d argue all the time!) it’s both! How many verses on prayer include thanksgiving. Even in the hard times, we can thank Him for His faithfulness through it and all He’s going to do in & through us, in & through the trial. He’s good all the time and can bring good out of even the most situations. “In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us” Romans 8:37. How can we be more than conquerors??you ask...in her commentary on this passage on The Bible Recap podcast, Tara Leigh Cobble shares an insight into that verse that I loved. God doesn’t just help us through and enable us to be victorious in our trials but He actually uses them for our good and our growth (sanctification)! Look at how all these passages on prayer includes all to thanksgiving and rejoicing...
“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in ALL things for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thess. 5:16-18
“Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Colossians 4:2
“Rejoice in the Lord always, again I will say, rejoice...The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. (Result if we do?) And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7
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